Jackie Beat, the self-professed bastard child of “Weird” Al Yankovic and buxom Bette Midler returns to Times Square with JACKIE BEAT: BIRTHDAY BITCH! Everyone knows that Jackie Beat is a big bitch. And a talented bitch. A shady bitch. A fierce bitch. A sick bitch. But this July, JACKIE BEAT is also a BIRTHDAY BITCH! To celebrate her birthday weekend, Miss Beat is invading New York, unwrapping some new parody songs and sharing some of her greatest hits. So here are the ground rules: Do not make eye contact. Do not ask “how old?” Laugh loudly. Drink. Gifts optional. Guest star Boomer Banks. Tickets are $24 with a $20 food/beverage minimum per person.

Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 W 42nd St, NYC, 212-695-6909, 4pm, Tix $24 with a $20 food/beverage minimum per person. More info HERE.