{"id":29953,"date":"2015-03-28T17:30:15","date_gmt":"2015-03-28T21:30:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/?p=29953"},"modified":"2015-03-27T22:04:57","modified_gmt":"2015-03-28T02:04:57","slug":"op-ed-terrorists-truthers-tools-god-bless-america","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/?p=29953","title":{"rendered":"Op-ed: Terrorists, Truthers & Cavemen…Gimme Shelter!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TERROR\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Fred talked during the open mike as I sat like a pissed cat waiting for our table to explode. Comics told jokes as he passionately confessed he was taken by me and that we should workshop his one-man show together. \u201cYou\u2019d love my stuff. It\u2019s sociopolitical commentary, but personal as well.\u201d I asked, \u201cHave you finished it?\u201d \u201cNo- seven years I\u2019ve been working on it.\u201d The emcee came and hissed, \u201cShhhh!\u201d like he was monitoring the opera. As he walked away shaking his head, Fred still talked, but leaned in his bald spot. \u201cI can\u2019t finish. I\u2019m in therapy about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know Christopher Hedges? Have you heard of him?<\/p>\n

\u201cUm, a little bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Times fired him because he criticized the war in Iraq. Oh, you have to read him, he\u2019s fantastic. He really knows what\u2019s going on right now. They\u2019re going after journalists- that\u2019s how it happens, they go after journalists first. We\u2019re becoming a fascist state and I mean fast, I mean it\u2019s happening now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I think America will eventually become fascist, but not for some time, not until after we\u2019re dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no, it\u2019s coming long before then, way before. Long before. Five years, tops. Here- what\u2019s your number. I\u2019ll call and leave mine on your screen.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held what looked like a remote control for an air conditioner, but was a phone- the kind Welfare issues for free. Fred wanted to discuss blow jobs and conspiracies on a cell that was a gift from Obama. I thought, \u201cChe is throwing bombs at him from rebel heaven,\u201d because Che\u2019d agree, the revolution will probably be televised via iPhone.<\/p>\n

In other words, lack of savvy doesn\u2019t help the left. Che Guevara, the Marxist with brass balls, was very well-read. He fought U.S. forces in areas like the Congo (until the Congolese dropped their guns and ran away), reading poets like Neruda but also \u201cthe great American,\u201d Walt Whitman, who later became a socialist icon. Unfortunately, instead of books, Americans are gripped by farfetched government plots. Last March, I met a burlesque girl who insisted al-Qaeda didn\u2019t exist, that they\u2019re a fake terrorist organization. She yelled in my face that I\u2019d been brainwashed; Al-Qaeda didn\u2019t fly planes into the Towers on 9\/11- tanned, Arabic speaking FBI agents did. The whole thing was a sham. Then she said the U.S. framed Dzhokhar Tsarnaev for the Boston Marathon bombings and the real culprits were U.S. Navy Seals. All I know is whoever\u2019s responsible used pressure cookers and American men- forget Navy Seals- have no interest in making rice.<\/p>\n

After this rant, she passed me a photo of herself with knees spread to display a cute, shaved vagina. She should fly to Syria and show off that pic. I guarantee, she\u2019ll find out if al-Qaeda exists.<\/p>\n

(This conversation happened before ISIL became the \u201cit\u201d terrorists, though to Hillary Clinton and anyone else paying attention, it was clear they were fated to. I don\u2019t mean to sound like Anne Coulter\u2019s tampon- a warring, fear-based, Islamophobic, stand-in dildo- but al Qaeda exists. And personally, \u201cJe suis fed up with Jihadists.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Yet since 9\/11, a conspiracy lives in the back of everyone\u2019s mind-we\u2019re superstitious. The gods who run America perform black magic; they\u2019ve no moral compass, but control the wind. They\u2019re brokers of myth. They sold us junk mortgages- causing the economy to collapse-but avoided jail. They sat back and watched the onset of Hurricane Katrina, killing eighteen hundred and destroying New Orleans. (Oops!) Why not believe they posed as terrorists, blew up the WTC and televised the con? Like Zeus, it\u2019s their M.O. to dupe us with a mirage of fire. However Zeus, though a trickster, was above all, a caring Olympian-the Greeks prayed to him. He was the grandson of Gaia (aka \u201cmother earth\u201d) and therefore part of the cosmos, not above it. He, too, had been ejected from a womb. Unfortunately, most Congressmen think \u201cGaia\u201d is a Greek whore with hairy armpits; she\u2019s just something to cum on.<\/p>\n

According to historian Arthur. M. Schlesinger, Jr., George W. Bush\u2019s justification for invading Iraq- aside from the presence of WMD\u2019s and its liberation- was that God spoke to him; he had a conversation with \u201chis Lord.\u201d (The Bush administration were known to walk around with The New Testament in hand, breaking at lunch for hour-long Bible studies.) Bush honestly believed God communicated with him; he cast himself as a king with whom God spoke directly, like Abraham. In other words, the dumbest military decision in history was made by a man who thought like a serial killer-his reason was \u201cGod told me to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Point being, Bush wasn\u2019t a strategist as much as a tool. What\u2019s worse, his regard for faith-based theories like \u201cintelligent design\u201d trickled down to the left, though none of his wealth did. Years later, \u201c9\/11 Truth\u201d is a cult. Bush believed God rigged the Big Bang and \u201c9\/11 Truthers\u201d believe he rigged the Towers\u2019 demise; they co-write the myth that as God\u2019s right-hand man, he shaped history. He\u2019s a divine Nixon, a supernatural tyrant who lit a city on fire. You can\u2019t blame them, he and Cheney were so oily, they\u2019d date a Saudi pyro. But the U.S. stalled on nabbing bin Laden for years; we deemed it risky. We sat as opportunities passed to stop him. Bush simply resumed this approach: he didn\u2019t rig 9\/11, he just didn\u2019t foil it. He was too busy with golf.<\/p>\n

To me, politicians are the basest of all life forms except, of course, for independent film producers. So please, question them, but do it with your brain, not a selfie of your clit- it\u2019ll work much better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fred talked during the open mike as I sat like a pissed cat waiting for our table to explode. Comics told jokes as he passionately confessed he was taken by me and that we should workshop his one-man show together. \u201cYou\u2019d love my stuff. It\u2019s sociopolitical commentary, but personal as well.\u201d I asked, \u201cHave you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29953"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29953"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29953\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29993,"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29953\/revisions\/29993"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}