{"id":38284,"date":"2016-07-28T12:37:04","date_gmt":"2016-07-28T16:37:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/?p=38284"},"modified":"2016-08-01T19:33:38","modified_gmt":"2016-08-01T23:33:38","slug":"watch-joan-crawford-in-bitch-selfie-aint-make-you-no-movie-star","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zeitgeistworld.com\/?p=38284","title":{"rendered":"Watch Joan Crawford in “Bitch Selfie Ain\u2019t Make You No Movie Star”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mommie<\/a><\/p>\n

OMGEE\u2026This the MOST!!! Where to begin\u2026Ok\u2026basically, Hollywood movie star\/legend\u00a0Joan Crawford<\/a><\/strong> is dead, and trying to get into heaven\u2026but she is denied at the gate. Some how, she charms the security guard, and is allowed in, on one condition\u2026 She has to return to Earth, and save the planet from all these fake-a$$ selfie\/social media whores and reality stars. She\u2019s basically on a mission to bring back her glory days, when there were real\u00a0<\/em>stars.<\/p>\n

This is sooo fantastically layered! Joan has also written a\u00a0fake autobiography (under the pseudonym L. LeSueur) called Mommie Smearest: See Joan Crawford In Bitch Selfie Ain\u2019t Make You No Movie Star<\/strong><\/a>\u2026which is a parody ofMommie Dearest<\/a>\u2013 the\u00a0memoir\/expos\u00e9 (and movie<\/a>) written by Joan\u2019s adopted daughter Christina Crawford. In her\u00a0posthumous version, she has\u00a0reinvented herself as the rap artist mo.m.m.i.e.D.<\/strong>, taking the readers into phony-fabulous locales including Trump Tower, pro-football stadiums, boardrooms, and the New York Times social columns. In between her squabbles and plot twists, Joan offers hilarious flashbacks from her own rich Hollywood life, including a never-revealed (until now!) audition for TV\u2019s The Brady Bunch<\/em>, and a feature-length lie called Monster Dearest: Keeping Up with the Crawfords<\/em>, in which Crawford sort of, but not really, explains herself as Mommie Dearest.<\/p>\n

You can ACTUALLY buy Joan\u2019s book HERE<\/a>, and peep a few more juicy deets. In the meantime, check out her first music video as\u00a0mo.m.m.i.e.D. below (voiced by celebrity impersonator Bonnie Kilroe<\/strong><\/a>), and get the single\u00a0Bitch Selfie Ain\u2019t Make You No Movie Star on iTunes<\/a>.<\/p>\n