Friday 04.18.

Smiths/Morrissey Party

If your human and you need to be loved, this is the place to go to relish in all your self-deprecation! It’s a night of The Smiths and Morrissey hits…all night long! And if that’s not enough, cover band The Sons and The Heirs plays at 11pm. Dj Shred attempts to play other tunes between the tears.

Rehab, 25 Ave B between 2nd and 3rd Sts, (212) 253-2595, 9pm, www.myspace.com/shreddie

Live Through This

A collection of short stories, essays, artwork, and photography where women confront brutality in the world around them and the violence they often inflict upon themselves. Contributions by Nan Goldin, bell hooks, Annie Sprinkles, and more. Tonight, Editor Sabrina Chapadjiev reads.

Bluestockings, 172 Allen St at Stanton St, (212) 777-6028), 7pm, free

Baña

We’re not quite sure what this is all about. Apparently, there’s a pool, flip flops for sale at the door, and swim trunks are acceptable attire, but less is more. Plus, Tabboo and Leopatra perform with DJ Billy Beyond giving the spin. The 80’s are back with boys being boys in bathhouses. Where’s Bette Midler?

Visit hotsteammachine.com for location, Midnight. $40-$80

New York Comic Con

East Coast’s biggest culture convention, chocked full of toys, action figures, and films (and comics, of course) dissends on Gotham city. Geeky comic lovers, artists, and gamers collide for an ultimate animation circle jerk. Guests include Dick Ayers, Nick Cardy, Stan Lee, and the awesome TM Revolution!

Jacob K. Javits convention Center, 665 W 34th St at 11th Ave, 3-10pm, $30-$45, www.nycomiccon.com

Saturday 04.19.

Pope Bash!

Holy sacrilegious! Nightlife ubër hostess Linda Simpson demonstrates what really goes on in the confessionals in honor of the Pope’s NYC appearance. Murray Hill stars as The Pope, Dirty Martini plays the Virgin Mary, and The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence initiate the pledging go go altar boys. Rosary and anal beads for all!!!

Rapture Café & Books, 200 Ave A between 12th and 13th Sts, (212) 228-1177, 9pm, free

Regina Spektor

Queen of indie folk and “cool” commercial jingles plays to an intimate crowd as part of the annual Record store Day festivities. Bring your foreign language dictionaries because she tends to go off, telling stories in Russian, French, and Latin.

Sound Fix, 110 Bedford Ave at North 11th St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, (718) 388-8090, 1pm, free

Sunday 04.20.

Scream Club + Nicky click + aka Chicago

Two more dirty dykes from Olympia sing about female empowerment via various sexual positions. It’s Hole channeling Peaches, with a bit of Ave D- hairy armpits on display! Nicky Click and aka Chicago support.

Knitting Factory Tap Bar, 74 Leonard St bet Broadway and Church St, (212) 219-3006, 9pm, $10