Friday 05.02

Black and Light Ball 3

It’s not the most flattering lighting, but we guess it’s cool anyway. Wear black, neon, true white, electronics, or glam tech and you’ll find yourself aglow on the dance floor at this annual Kostume Kult day-glo disco. Performance by White Wedding Cabaret with Amelionaires; plus, Neon body painting and a black lit fashion show. It’s radio black transmission and it’s private, so buy your tix online early.

Comix, 353 W 14th St bet Eighth and Ninth Aves, (212) 524-2500, 9pm, $30, www.kostumekult.com

Spank

Spank Zine debuts amongst the disco, rave, and rump shakin’ antics provided by DJ Will and Sean B. Special performance by legedary artist of a zillion faces Billy Beyond.

Vault at Element, 225 E Houston St at Essex St, (212) 254-2220, 10:30pm, $5

Saturday 05.03

Fixed: Erol Alkan

The London-based indie dance floor DJ/producer returns to NYC for the official Teenagers album release party. Expect a remix playlist of Bloc Party, Daftpunk, The Chemical Brothers, and tracks from the new Long Blondes album Couples…Trashey fun for all!!!

Studio B, 259 Banker St bet Calyer St and Meserole Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn, (718) 389-1880, 10pm, $12, www.myspace.com/fixednyc

Nuyorican Poets Cafe: Third Millennium Celebration

It’s not just a Hispanic thang! Thirty-five years of poetry, theater, music, film, and visual arts…and a few slammin’ sexy papis! It’s all uncut and under the auspices of art. Rosie Perez and Flaco Navaja host with performances from Carlos Andres Gomez, Steve Colman, and Kirk Nugent.

The Town hall, 123 W 43rd St bet Sixth Ave and Broadway, (212) 840-2824, 8pm, $35-$40

The Teenagers + Team Robespierre

It’s not the 50’s American doo wop group! These French Kiddies are vile, misogynistic, rude, and the most discussed band out there right now. While all of their songs tend to sound the same, they are the perfect commentary on today’s useless youth. Basque in the vapiness! Brooklyn “new punk” band Team Robespierre open.

Music Hall of Williamsburg, 66 North 6th St bet Kent and Wythe Aves, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, (718) 486-5400, 9pm, $18

Sunday 05.04

Green-Wood Cemetery Tour

The final resting place for New York notables including Andy Warhol protege Jean Michelle Basquiat, composer Leonard Bernstein, and photog to the stars Napoleon Sarony. Highlights: urn garden, columbarian, and the mausoleums…it’s all so gorgeously goth!!!

Green-Wood Cemetery, 25th St at Fifth Ave, Sunset Park, Brooklyn, (718) 788-8500, 1pm, $13

Divas with Heart featuring Diana Ross + Patti LaBell + Chaka Khan

Diana, Patti, Chaka, and Gladys?!?!? Say it ain’t so Blanche!!! It’s the battle of the 4 egos to benefit Masonic Medical Research Laboratory. Bring your entourage and a whole lotta cash…these girls don’t come together often, and they ain’t cheap!

Radio City Music hall, 1260 Sixth Ave at 50th St, (212) 247-4777, 7:30pm, $69.50-$504.50