Friday 05.16

Mondo Fourth-Anniversary Party

Although these hipsters’ website is a bit pretentious and hypocritical, denouncing “indie” as a marketing tool, their party still rocks. Tonight is b-day #4 and their celebrating with a live set from glam-influenced pop band Secret History…plus, resident DJs Miss Modular, Kevington, and Dr. Maz twist the turntables.

Don Hill’s, 511 Greenwich St at Spring St, 212-334-1390, 11:30pm, $5, www.mondo-nyc.com

The Long Blondes + Drug Rug + The Subjects

Neither blonde, nor long…nonetheless, the five piece UK band are back, promoting second album Couples. Influenced by The Ramones, Buzzcocks, and other popular post-punk/new wave bands, the LBs give great show. Feel the pop penetration with support from Drug Rug and The Subjects.

Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St between Bowery and Chrystie St, 212-533-2111, 8pm, $17

Yo Majesty + Does It Offend You, Yeah? + The Shalitas + Time Machine

“My lyrics are so gay, they’ll split your dick!” Don’t know if we want our dicks split, but we’re up for a bit of variety. NME called them ‘realer than M.I.A., Louder than Santogold, and filthier than Bonde Do Role’. The Florida hip hop trio are in NYC spreading their muff-diving message from new CD You Have No Idea What You Are Getting Yourself Into and showing of their large tits. Does it Offend You, Yeah? co-headline with new single We Are Rockstars.

Highline Ballroom, 431 W 16 St bet Ninth and Tenth Aves, 212-414-5994, www.myspace.com/yomajesty4life

Saturday 05.17

Dance Parade 2008

Put on your dancin’ shoes…you dirty little swine!!! It’s the annual Dance Parade!!! Tons of limber extroverts show off their latest dance moves in over 30 different genres including Voguing, Punk, Gothic, Roller-Disco, and maybe even the Jonas Brothers doing the Cha Cha Slide. The final culmination is a big bash in Tompkins Square Park with DJ Jonathan Peters.

Starts at Broadway and 28th St, 1pm, free, www.danceparade.org

Hercules and Love Affair Release Party

It’s the Andrew Butler project that we’ve all been hearing about (check out our review in Music)…the one where all the good songs are sung by Antony of Antony and The Johnsons….yes there are other people singing on the album…but can’t remember their names right now. Regardless, tonight is the US release and lots of notable queens are coming out to show love. DJ’s include Butler, Kim Ann Foxman, DFA’s T&T, and London Horse Meat Disco legends James Hillard and Jim Stanton. Hosted by Linda Simpson and Opening Ceremony boutique.

Studio B, 259 Banker St bet Calyer St and Meserole Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn, 718-389-1880, 10pm, $15

Sunday 05.18

AIDS Walk New York

Our boots are made for walkin!!!…and raising awareness. Join the ongoing fight against HIV and AIDS, sponsored by Gay Men’s Health Crisis, at the annual walk. Featured event speakers include Kenneth Cole, Dave Annable from Brothers and Sisters, and cutie Hal Sparks. Performances by Estelle and Jennifer Lewis.

Central Park, enter at 59th St and Fifth Ave, 8:30am, free, www.aidswalk.net/newyork

Black kids + Boy Crisis + Chairlift

Floridians doing Arcade Fire vs The Cure vs Euro-rock-pop??? Please translate this page!!! After blowin’ up CMJ with their myspace single I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You, the BKs have been given the curse of being named the best band of 2008. Find out if they’re worthy and just how black they really are! Support from Boy Crisis and Chairlift.

Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St bet Bowery and Chrystie St, 212-533-2111, 7:30pm, $15, www.myspace.com/blackkidsrock

Los Campesinos!

They’re bringing the Korg, the glockenspiel, and the tambourine back! Self-proclaimed ‘second best punk rock UK band’ (The Gallows being #1) play tracks from debut album Hold On Now Youngster...plus, B-side cover songs from Deerhof, Bikini Kill, and Casiotone.

The Living Room, 154 Ludlow St bet Rivington and Stanton Sts, 212-533-7235, 1pm $12, www.myspace.com/loscampesinos